Friday, November 03, 2006

It's rolling quickly


Like a fast moving train it's gone really quickly. The week started and ended like a blinking light bulb. Only 6.5 more blinks to go...
Scary, sad, worrying etc.

We've accepted an offer on the house and it's really sad. It's really hard. Sometimes I sit and wonder what on earth I'm doing. I had a lovely home, a great job, my family close by and my best mate 2 minutes away. That's what number 14 represents and it's very hard when someone stands in your kitchen and says "I only bought it on Friday and I'm already thinking nets". You remember the first few weeks that you spent in your new home excited about the prospect of finally owning your own house as you removed the revolting nets from the window and made the house your own.

When they say of course we'll rip out this carpet and you remember that not even 12 months ago you'd managed to save £5oo to pay for it. When they walk around your home and cheerfully point out that you haven't yet removed that picture or that ornament.
It's still my home and I have to let go.

It represents so much more than bricks and mortar and it's not easy. I want it to go through quickly because the quicker the knife falls the sooner it will all be over. Sooner I have to let go.

Number 14 will be the dream for a new young couple and they’ll fill it with their hopes and ideals. It will hold as many wonderful memories for them as it has done for me. It’s a wonderful home with a brilliant spirit. I am really happy and excited for them and I understand.

If you're reading this you might think that I regret what's happening. I don't. I can't wait. Part of me wishes that I could take my best mate, my cats, my job, my home and everything I love about England with me in 6 1/2 weeks, but I can't, and I guess if I could then it would kind of defeat the object. We'll have a great adventure and when we get back we can buy a new house, a new bubble to feel safe, secure and happy in. Two minutes from my best friend's house and down the road from my family. I can pick up where I left off and I'll have had a new enriching experience to remember for the rest of my life.

Believe me tying me to a chair and not letting me go sounds tempting some times but nothing amazing ever comes easy...

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