The ultimate in Classroom disruption

Teachers!
Are you looking for a tool that will provide all of the classic disruptive behaviour from your pupils that you could ever desire? Do you need fast results? With a long lasting effect?
Tired of having your class settled for longer than the 20min starter activity?

Well your search has ended, Never again need you fear the quiet calm of a hard working set of students. The silence, concentration and learning that you have tolerated for so long can be obliterated in a matter of minutes.

"How much does this solution cost?" I hear you cry. The answer my friend” Is blowing in the wind" and straight through the classroom window....

The WASPMATIC2005!
Only available for the next few weeks.

"Amazing! The pupils were tumbling out of their seats in no time!"

"It flew in, buzzed around in confusion and left a massive wake of devastation. Chairs turned over, children cowering, screaming and yelling "its in your hair!" "


"It roused the biggest lunatics quickly and effectively. They were up in minutes swiping the air (and anyone who got in the way ) with any thing close; Pencil cases, planner, chairs they all proved to be very effective!"

If the chaos becomes tedious then simply usher the waspomatic2005 out of the window.

WARNING the waspomatic2005 has been known to cause the following side effects;
a very annoyed teaching assistant
A stung pupil or two
Mass hysteria which can only be solved by the involvement of the management team.
If these problems occur it is advisable to keep all windows and doors sealed shut until it's really really cold!

I'm quiet but I'm OK!

I'm suffering at the moment... Suffering from a cold (all say Ahhhhh). I am still fully functional (at work you cheeky people) thanks to "first response" or, as LOF likes to refer to it, my 'legal' sniffing drug. I am however feeling a little tired and I guess all my usually bouncy energy is being focused on keeping me awake!
This has led to people at work having accused me of being up to something because I was quiet! Lil Purn suggested that I was planing something (I don't know what... I hope it's fun) lol.
I'm currently sat on the sofa in the front room (computer's still downstairs attached to the tv) wrapped in my favourite duvet keeping warm and contemplating an early night. Zzzz I am not however, up to anything! lmao!
Goodness! I knew I was usually bubbly and perhaps bouncey ;) but I'm just tired people! lol

Announcement

It is actually posible to get a nice picture of Ant. You just have to keep trying for 11 years......
by the way girls, he's single.........

Ross gets married

The first one to get married out of the old school gang was Ross. He married the lovely Amanda on Saturday. I've added lots of pictures to my Flickr account (See that scrolling image thingy on the right!) if you'd like to see more pictures.

Ross looked happy and Amanda was wearing a very beautiful dress .

It was really lovely to catch up with Ross and Ferg, Especially on a lovely occasion like this. Like most women, I love weddings :) I also got to see Noj (who I haven't seen fro years) who looked a little shell shocked by my usual loud and chatty behaviour. I'm pretty sure he didn't want to kill me though lol.

Dunk and Noj did have a funny moment where one of the guests asked whether they were "together" lmao. But as I pointed out to them, at 16 and 19 perhaps they're not to familiar with the idea of a couple of male mates sharing a pint and catching up. Dunk looked mortified though so I am sure he'll appreciate me mentioning the entire incident on the World wide web!

Amanda didn't throw the bouquet which was disappointing ( I was hoping to catch it and then really freak Matt out ) but the chocolaty cakey things where particularly good... mmmm.

It was crazy to have part of the old school gang back together again after a very long time. My haven't we all grown up!

Psycho Babble.

Many realisations occur during the transition between adulthood and maturity. I am not naive enough to believe that this journey is over for me as there are numerous challenges and joys that I am yet to experience.

It is a strange feeling to find yourself able to make what may seem like 'wise' comments on life and how we see others. Amusingly my own search for inner calm and a normal state of self esteem often leads to the evaluation of my relationship with other people and other influences in my life,

Whilst watching Lost and considering the plight of Charlie in episode 15 (sorry if you're not there yet, I promise not to give too much away) I realised that we all have moments in our lives where key words and phrases stick into our mind. For Charlie the phrase "you'll never look after anyone" led to some drastic and perhaps ill-advised action in a mythical jungle.

As life is learning experience perhaps it is important to recognise that there are voices in our head. No people! Not whispering present tense voices but the voices from the memory banks of childhood and our early adult experiences, which influence our actions and behaviours many years later. I wonder how many of use even realise which events it has been that has created and shaped us into who we are and perhaps who we'll become.

Many phrases used to spend time rolling around in my head. Most of them are gone now; even the ones I couldn't hear consciously. However, I can clearly remember my mum being rather unsympathetic to my tears when I had fallen out with my friends. (I guess that she would be unable to recall this event as to her, it would seem insignificant.) She said the following words that proved later to become immortal and forever embedded into my psyche.

"Well you are a bit bossy Selena".

I am sure that there are certain folks who will currently be laughing (LOM) and perhaps even agreeing with my mother of almost 8 years ago. The thing that is least funny about this is that this one comment has formed the basis of a major insecurity that I have held for years.

I am a very caring person and I'm allowed to say that. (There is absolutely nothing wrong with positively affirming a good self-esteem. ) I am allowed to say that because every day I know that I make a difference to hundreds of people. My job makes sure of that and my relationships with my friends confirm it.

Sometimes my care for others develops into a sense of enthusiasm for their comfort and well being that is rather intense! But all of this intensity and the focusing of my energy usually yield results that are desirable for the party's concerned.

It is strange that this voice is still echoing my head, It was there when JFO had that little 'chat' with me in his office. It's there every time LOM makes a joke about me trying to control. It's there when I feel that twinge of insecurity which tells me not to call and back off. It's all very strange.

Hopefully, no one will get hurt ( poor ol' Charlie)

I do know that once you let that little memory leave usually the funny, negative feelings leave with it. I've learned to do that a lot over the last few years. Confidence can help to achieve an awful lot. I stop saying, "I'm crazy" as an excuse for my behaviour, I've stopped not accepting compliments (although it took me nearly 6 months to learn to say thank you without feeling like a fraud) and I've learnt to stop saying "I can't... " This has even, contrary to the belief of an anonymous commenter, helped me to learn to spell much better than I used to.

What's your soundtrack like?

I was listening to Radio One yesterday (during a cleaning frenzy) and was enjoying some music that I hadn't heard for years. One by one each song reminded me of a time in my life or a person... Here are some of the songs in the soundtrack of my life....

Year 8 at school. The annual Eisteddfod. --> Sweat (a la la la la long) - Inner Circle
I can vividly remember our form sorting out a little sketch on the beach for this one. We won! We even covered James ? in black face paint and made him an afro from wool ( not very politically correct!)

The garage musicians - Together for Ever - Rick Astley
Just another Manic Monday - The Bangles

Oh those were the day eh Span... If you ask maybe one day we'll record the moves... and bust a grove... ready... 1,2,3...

This makes me think of John, Crig, Kel, Aimme, Span and I when we were too young and innocent to understand that the lyrics to some of the song we were 'performing' we RUDE!

Year 9, Matt Dyer, the undertakers' Son - Firestarter - The Prodigy

The start of my High School years, Mixing with the wrong types! lol

Deano and the Redditch fair - Saturday Night - Wigfield

I can even tell you that this came out in September... because that's when the fair was. My mate Deanno and I were on the Orbiter ( a ride still in operation even now -- worrying) . I still try and keep in contact with Deano who is now a talented musician.

Eddy, Rushy and M --> Gangstas' Paradise - Coolio

My holiday romance (from a cruise no less!) a six foot rugby player who used to send me love letters from Rochdale which outlined the grusome things he had done to people to cause pain on the Rugby pitch (he even included clip art!) I think that was supposed to impress me lol. A very sweet boy who turned into a lovely man... I haven't spoken to him for years but I hope he and 'Rushy' are very happy where ever they are up north.

One Step Beyond - A spaceman came travelling - Chris de Burgh
Careless Whisper - George Micheal

Even now these songs send Deano and me into fits of giggles, These were the only two songs, our band One step beyond could play. Thanks to Steph for the harmonies and Alex Woods for the drums lol.

The Webheath Gang Version 2 - Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
What i though was my first 'love'; Mr Kimberly. This song always takes me back to the nights when I was much younger where we wandered around the streets of Webheath in a gang (Chris - from the black country, Dave, Span, John, Crig, that bloy with the blonde hair who we were very mean to -sorry love- ) Hey Span do you remember when we sat on the corner of the road and pulled the petals off some roses. ( he loves me, he loves me not) The next day day your mum told you how the lady who ownd the garden was mortified as her proze winning roses had been ruined by vandals. We never did own up did we !

Year 11 - Lewis et al at the end of what was there year 13... --> Layla - Eric Clapton

The beginning of a very transition period on my life. These people were very important to me for years and I often wondered what became of them. I've heard that Lewis is now happily married which is wonderful news; of Jon, Chris, Neil and Cullum.... I know not a lot. I hope they're all happy and safe.

First Year of Uni. Anything from Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morrisette

Possibly one of the most turbulent times of my life but also one of the most valuable. I learnt a lot about myself that year and this album helped me lose a lot of anger. Lock the door and start wailing along girls....

The start of the rest of my life - Beautiful - Matt Woodward.
After a silly conversation where I told him I'd need to go now because It always took hours for me to make my self look beautiful (He of course complimented me and told me I was always beautiful and , at the time, I was unable to accept the compliment.) Matt wrote me this song. We were just friend back then mind you, but it stirred something in me that has never gone away.

Displaying my wares

I am just 1 1/2 hours away from returning to school to open the doors of my classroom to prospective parents. I have spent today tyding and sproosing my room in order for it to reach the dizzy standards required.

I've just checked Span's blog, read it and commented on it. I sense that she may be a little fed up... more from the comment she wrote back then from her blog. I hope I haven't shoved a rather smelly, been in my hot boots all day foot into my mouth. lol

It's funny how, seomtimes, the people you spend the most time with in the world can also be the people that you bceome most sensitive about. Sometimes you can have known someone for such a long time that you begin to see yourself in them. Sometimes its a yourself that you left behind, sometimes its a yourself you wish you could be.

Friendship is certainly a wonderful and ever changing thing; purely in a good sense mind you.

To cheer Span up I dedicate these shoes to her...

and direct her to here

encouraging young minds

Today I was single handedly responsible for flooding blogspot with 30 odd book journals which are to be written by students in my Year 8 class. Sorry about that! lol

Some of the names they have chosen to use have amused me. "Spozitos Doritos" is one of my personal favs. lol

Some have already put one entry up. Brilliant. I just hope this gets them reading lol

Free as a bird

There are those who have been concerned about me this week. Beautiful people who have asked me am I ok? How's school going? Do you want me to break anyone's legs.(lol)
They need not worry

I have sailed through this week. It has felt so very strange... I've enjoyed every moment and every class as run smoothly, beautifully and has been really enjoyable. The communal areas that I share with other staff have not seemed threatening in any way and I've even managed to be relaxed around those I used to get really angry about.

I let go of all that crap. I really did. It's amazing what a difference it has made to me. I can now hold my head up high. I know that I'm doing a good job and I am certain that those around me will notice that too if I continue to be a calm and centred as I am at the moment.

My classroom is tidy! (Shocking) my lessons are written in my planner and my relationships with everyone has returned to where it should be. Excellent.

Please do not worry. It's all fine.
:)

Did I say I'd missed them?

10SCL
1:45 pm
N21 (My classroom for those who didn't know)
Mayhem

"Stand in silence."
Class: (murmer)

"The golden rule is do as teacher asks first time without question.. I have asked repeatedly for you to be quiet!" (raising voice slowly)

Class: Silence

1... 2.... 3.... 4.... 5...


"I will not start until there is absoloute silence" Moves class into seating plan.
Class sit down start talking
(B is giggling, D + J are discussing the gory details of J's broken arm (it's pinned together!), K starts chatting)
"right stand up!"
Class: (loud choral moan of objection)
"I do not recall asking anyone to sit down nor did I ask you to speak. Silence."
(eventually)
"This is what I want you to do every morning. Stand where you are, as you are now no not like that K.- who is practically lying on her desk- that's better. No talking until you are invited to discuss something with me.

and so on...

"K remove that braclet"
"NO! When will I get it back? At half term?"
"Christmas actually"
"No! That's unfair it's the first day.."
"...and I've asked 4 times for you to remove it"
"you said..."
"are you refusing to do what teacher asks you to do first time without question? I think you're questioning me. Infact your being rather rude,"
"I don't mean to be rude but yeah but right but it's unfair I was going home! It's the first day"
"Kiera give me the braclet"
"NO! (mumours)

What fun!

3 detentions on the first day lmao.

Statistics, policies and development plans

That's all I've heard about today. I was also told by three people that I was a stapler thief ( a clear lie) lol The things that people start rows about!

The day begun with a spring in my step. I actually woke up, excited to go to work, at 6:30am. I got up dressed and showered and walked to work! It was actually surprisingly rather nice to stroll in listening to my music. I may even do it again tomorrow. I don't, however, think that once it's raining and the leaves are falling off the trees I'll still be quite so enthusiastic about walking ;) .

Once I arrived, I tried to spread my enthusiasm around the department. I'm not sure it worked. I actually think that they thought that the happy, bouncing girl in the corridor was a little bit over whelming! lol. NEver?

I was then made to sit in silence for hours ( a very bad plan when you have as much energy as I did this morning). I learnt that the SAT results were 86%. I was wondering how many of the nutters in my group would even come close to a level 5. I was shocked to discover that the class had managed to get 2 Level 6s. 24 Level 5s and 2 level 4s! That's not right surely. lol. Oh well it's all good. When they start putting the pressure on the teachers for the value added in their GCSEs I won't be there to worry about it anyway lol.

The boss was also disappointed that the GCSE results were lower than expected. Erm.. could this be because you pushed them so far with academies and the like that it all went wrong?? I could have told you that a year ago... Oh I think I did lol. Ah well, as we know, my beauties did very well for themselves so, as the Aussies would say, BONZA.

Tomorrow I get to the see the kids for the first time in 6 weeks and I can't wait. I've missed the little blighters.

Gardening shows

I also went to the gardening show this weekend and purchaed a lot of really big plants that involved daisies!!! Yeah.

I always love going to the Kings Heath Gardeners' weekend. It's good fun. It was really hot today though which made it harder to stand around and read the labels on plants. (Much to Matt's relief) Tina and Matt accompanied us which was nice and seems to be becoming a little tradition.
To cap it all off Matt (next store) turned on his bar B Q! Wicked! I've escaped cooking all weekend. I like it A Lot! ;)

Some pretty flowers.... (these are pictures I took at the show)




Who knew that there was such a pretty place to go just around the corner?

A Dream Interpretation for span...

This weekend has been much more eventful than I thought it would be.
Span had guests up for the weekend which meant that we went to town to watch the football and then had a bar b que at her house. Tasty good.

Apparently she had a dream the other day which involved Mr Bogus and his handmade jewellery box and me having to tell Hannah that Matt didn't like her! (i'm sure she'll elaborate! ;) Silly girl. I think that she worries that she's spending too much time with us. She needn't at all. We enjoy her company and she is more than welcome around at our house at any time. I am a little worried that her subconscience thinks that Ant can make a pretty Jewelry box and sell little trinkets? I wonder what that means?? lol


To dream of giving jewellery away, warns you that some vital estate is threatening you. For a young woman to dream that she receives jewellery, indicates much pleasure and a desirable marriage. To buy them, proves that you will be very successful in momentous affairs, especially those pertaining to the heart.

OOOHhhh... Did you buy any jewellry from Ant Span? If so, it's looking good!

Jewellery Box
To see a jewellery box in your dream, represents your own sense of self-worth, self-value, and potential. You need to unleash your stored potential and quit keeping them hidden.


Repeat after me Span:
I am a beautiful person. I am a good person. I am a STAR! ONly then will the dreams of the jewellry box leave your subconscious. lol.

What an interesting dream.....

Two days to go....

My god... Six weeks ago I said the same thing about the end of term. Hasn't time flown?

I've been to work for the last two days getting my classroom prepared for the new year. Sad aren't I? Lol. I'm supposed to be on holiday and I choose to spend my time at work! Oh well I guess that's enthusiasm and dedication for you.

They've painted my classroom you see and so I had to make all my displays look good to match the newly painted walls. I now have pink and yellow notice boards! Yeah! lol. I'm not sure my year 10 form will appreciate that somehow. ;)

I'm sat listening to the soundtrack of "The forty Year Old Virgin" at the moment. That was a very funny film and I just had to own their rendition of Aquarius. It was hilarious. LOF kept singing it at me so I had to do something.

I haven't blogged anything on here for a while so I thought I'd update it a little. Span has guests this weekend so she seems to have been inventing ways to avoid using her new kitchen lol. She's having a bar b que tonight so I'll try and get some piccies. Alas LOM can not be called Lord of the Flame 2 as he has gone out and become posh (He bought a gas bar b q.) no flames and smoke for him!

Do you ever wonder why your pc suddenly stops working properly?

I've got the answer.

This is what happens to windows when you leave your computer on over night...

This must be why we're always fixing people's machines!